and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
