The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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