for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
