i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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