Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
