Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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