I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
