I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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