hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
