it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
