Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
