I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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