sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
