So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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