So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
