It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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