Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
