yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
