I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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