Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
