But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can I color on your dick again?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
