guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, beer. Big fan.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
