"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
