somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
