needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
