what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
