There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
oh god was she eating orange peels again
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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