i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
