This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize