...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize