I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is wine microwaveable?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
