Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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