So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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