call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
