We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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