goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize