Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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