I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
