dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
try to milk me bitch
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
