So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
