He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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