how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
