It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
