I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
