Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
