But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
