We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
