I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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