none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
