i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize