i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
