was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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