what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
