How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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