i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
