I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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