so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
