I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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