we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
