apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
