I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
