I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
